Chasing Women: Main Drawbacks and Alternatives
For some strange reasons, sometimes men think that tactics of approaching turn women on. Others think that otherwise, no one would ever come up and say, "Hi." Men think that chasing women is an instinct that most of the girls agree with. They like to be chased, sought for, taken down, and kept in the arms of a man. But do they?
Approaching girls looks good and reasonable in theory, but why does chasing women never work? Why there are bigger chances to be called a creep and get blocked?
I hate chasing women. It never works. And if it does, this woman will never stay with you because she hasn't fallen for you in the first place. It looks old-fashioned and stupid. As if she was a princess, hiding from you in an ivory tower. But how to stop chasing women and choose different tactics? I will share my experience and tell you what works for me.
Chasing Women: What's the Point?
Why does chasing women never work? Why would they act nice at first, but flake on you in the end? Are you doing something wrong? How else would you approach a woman if she acts untouchable? What if you want to do it quickly and get to know her, but she acts unbothered? Why do men always have to play this cat and mice games? When I used dating sites, desperately trying to meet single women online, I always did the same thing. I chased them over and over. I texted them first, then double texted them. I put likes under their photos, called them, but it was all in vain. Nice guys finish last, indeed. They never wanted to see me. Instead, they approached cold morons, people who openly used these girls and who were unapologetic about it.
I thought, "Why does life have to be so unfair?" I put all my emotional and financial resources into a woman, say nice things, take her to dinner, and she still wants to be with a bad guy. With that thought, I went to my female friend to hear her point of view.
She said, "You see, this is why chasing women is useless. When you are on a national market, you always want to make a product slightly scarce, so that people end up chasing it. Overabundant food is lower in price because it's accessible for everyone. No one would crave black caviar if it wouldn't be in short supply. Only rarest items are so expensive. The same goes for attention. If you express it too much, nobody wants it. You want to know your worth to be chased after. At least, if you don't know it, fake it!" And then, I realized a big truth. I was always a fool, trying to track down single women online. I sold myself so short, nobody wanted it. Women were suffocated by my attention. I'm never chasing women again!
The Main Reason Why Men Chase Women
But why do we like to play warriors? Sometimes you just know this girl won't stay with you but decide to continue for some reason. What is the psychological ground beneath it?
Men are natural hunters
It is an evolutionary phenomenon that men like to be chasing after their prey. They are ambitious and serious about their career, like to be tactical and strict when it comes to achieving goals. But women are not prey, right? Yes, hunting a hot girl almost feels like a drug. You get high on adrenaline since every date is a 50/50 chance. You feel ecstatic, excited, and exalted to see her one more time. But to be successful with women, you need to ascend over your animal instincts.
Winning over a girl is flattering
Another reason why men get in trouble chasing women is that they don't know when enough is enough. You want to fight till the end, till this girl is yours. Yes, it is mad flattering when the smartest and hottest girl gives you attention, it instantly boosts your self-esteem. But this is a two-way race. If you chase a girl too quickly, you face a risk of losing interest all for her even quicker.
They think women are frail
There's a common trope of a damsel in distress when a girl likes to sit and wait for her prince for as long as it takes. And indeed, this thing is still relevant in most of the countries. Some women go as far as refusing giving gifts to their partners because it's not a female prerogative. This inequality makes men always chasing someone.
Women act unapproachable
Another reason for these relationships, "men chasing women" model, is because women act impregnable indeed. Society puts a lot on their plate, always judging girls for being a prude, or too promiscuous. This is why a lot of women would better act cold at the beginning of your relationship. They simply don't want to be labeled as being too easy.
It is "cool" to chase a girl
In many families, men refuse to admit their wives take most of the responsibilities because they are simply afraid to be ridiculed. It takes guts to admit that most of the moves were done by a girl. Men are afraid to tell their friends that their partner is the one who shapes the dynamic of a relationship because then, they would appear as immature, childish or weak. Instead, chasing after a girl and winning her over is seen as "cool," and a "funny" challenge.
Is It Bad and Ineffective to Chase Women to Date Them?
Tricks like chasing women never work. They aren't bad, they are ineffective. And while some girls appreciate this degree of chivalry and assertiveness, most of them would call you a freak or a sociopath. Especially if you don't give women time to breathe. A man chasing women is not a good look, overall.
As I said before, I was chasing after girls for years. And the consequences were always bad. It's not like I hate women now or decide to fake emotional unavailability. I am still the same guy; I have just found some new ways to cope with my passionate self.
One time I chased a girl, she was nice and seemed romantic about it. She answered whenever I called her, never delayed our meetings and acted very involved. But suddenly, she asked if we could stay friends. When I asked her why the sudden change, she said I was giving away mixed signals. She said that friendliness is not the same as sex drive or passion. She noted I acted like a really good friend looking after her, and now she only sees me as one.
Then I decided to be more sexual. But when I approached girls with saucy texts (nothing nasty, just flirtatious), they often blocked me or said I was pushing the relationship and that I need to chill. And then I got tired of chasing women.
Chasing Women: Great Alternatives to Win a Girl You Like
How to stop chasing women and think with a clear head? If I don't chase her, our relationship won't move anywhere since no one will be pushing towards the goal. If I am cold, she will act unbothered too. Right? It's wrong! To get a girl, you don't need to be pushy! Just try some following steps and you will be surprised.
Concentrate on yourself
Being a nice guy is a disease. You are constantly afraid of not giving enough feedback. But instead of going with the same scheme, risk it. Act cool for once. Don't text her the same day you had a date. The only text to know if she got home safely. Don't ask when you can meet for the next time. Just thank her for a great date and stay silent for a while. You will be surprised, but if the girl isn't too stuck up, she will text you herself.
Be occupied
Rather than faking being busy, get a life! Men who are busy with their work, have a hobby and friends never spend too much time chasing women. They are in their zone, having goals and achieving them. I guarantee that once a girl sees how serious and goal-oriented you are, she will want to tag along.
Make equal moves
Another great way to approach women without being pushy is making an equal effort. Ask her on a date only if she wants to see you. If a girl acts cold and doesn't even answer, be bigger than that. Stop texting her and move on. If you see that a certain woman is initiative and nice, ask her out on a date. But if she delays it, never push her or ask whether she likes you because this will turn her off.
Be friendly as much as you can
If you can carry on being friends without hinting at sex or relationship, do it as long as you can. Women who aren't offered intimacy get confused. Why do you stay so close without initiating to go to the third base? You will interest this girl, to say the least. What is your goal? If you are the one taking it slow, a woman might get annoyed that you don't take her seriously, so then she'll start chasing you!
Don't be like other guys
Women hate too assertive, self-assured, and constantly horny men. If you want to win her over effortlessly, show no trepidation. Stay confident, mind your business and be sure she isn't going anywhere. If a girl sees you are not that afraid of losing her attention, she will stop manipulating you and playing hot-cold. But don't give her a reason to think you don't need her. Still, you have to send moderate signs of attraction.
As you can see, girls don't like to be chased. They like to initiate communication, but being a prey, suffocated with attention is not their cup of tea either. If you learn how to be friendly, timid, romantic, yet slightly mysterious, women will want to get your attention desperately because it will be that expensive product everyone wants to get a piece of.
