How and When to Ask for a Second Date

If a woman is ready to meet with you for the second time, this means that she either thinks you’re fine or just wants to see if you’re really as bad as you were on the first date. A well thought out plan will help you win her heart and get a chance to meet her again. But where to start from? All you need is to pick the right time to ask her out, come up with a couple of interesting topics to discuss, and follow some tips to give your companion an opportunity to get to know you better.

A second date has its own rules and peculiarities which are important to consider. If you don’t know about them, and your second evening together looks exactly like the first one, you probably won’t see her again.

second date tips

How to get a second date

First of all, the answer to this question depends on how successful your first date was. If you showed yourself as a nice guy, then around 80% of the work is already done. All that remains is to choose the right moment and find the right words to convince her to meet with you.

When to ask her out?

It’s said that the best time between a first and second date is three days, and you shouldn’t try to reach out to her during this time. This is the optimal period which shows that you’re interested in the girl but not desperate yet. But in fact, you can call her a day after the first meeting: this time should be enough for her to think over everything that happened on the previous date and decide whether it’s worth going on a second one or not. You don’t necessarily have to ask her out during the call. You can just find out how she's doing and have a little chat.

You can plan a second date in a few days or a week. It depends on how busy you are. But it should happen no later than 7 days after the first meeting. Otherwise, she might think that you have someone else or just don’t like her that much. But if both of you don’t have time to meet, you should call each other at least once every 3 days just to make sure your companion is still interested in you. If you stay in touch, the girl begins developing an emotional connection with you, and her second date expectations rise.

Even if the first meeting went well, and you saw the signs of liking for you, it’s still better not to ask her out for the second time on the spot. The thing is that emotions have a property to fade. And she probably doesn’t feel what she felt on the first date. That’s why, to be sure she agrees to meet again, you need to talk to her first and make her recall the emotions she felt.

Stay open and joke

Jokes are your most powerful weapon. Here’s an interesting fact: asking a girl to a second date becomes much easier if you poke on her. There are two possible outcomes: the girl won’t resist the temptation to meet with you to win your attention because she’ll think that you’re poking on her to make her more interested in you. Or she’ll agree because jokes are a sign that a guy is popular among women.

Here’s some second date advice for you: before calling her, take a deep breath and remember that there’s nothing special about her positive or negative answer. In fact, you shouldn’t attach too much importance to her answer even if she says yes because all women feel how important they are to men. And the more important your companion is to you, the worse, as everything that can be earned easily doesn’t have much value. And she doesn’t need to make any effort to get your attention because you’re all about her already.

You need to find a certain golden mean in your mood. This means you should be completely sure you want to ask her out again and be certain that your companion wants it as well, but show that you won’t get upset if she says no.

what to do on a second dateBe confident and win her trust

To make her trust you, use phrases like “I want to see you.” When it comes to first dates, it’s totally OK to ask girls out with such phrases as “would you like to...”. You won’t make her trust you if you say something similar when asking her for the second time. Let’s say you have a sweet chat with jokes, funny stories, and all that. Make a pause, lower your voice, and say: “I’d like to see you again. Let's meet at... “

When telling her when and where you will meet, don’t hesitate and stay confident as if it’s your 100th date. Such approach is important because the girl makes a decision based not on a place of the date but on your confidence. Of course, you can ask her out on a second date just by sending a message, but that’s not the best option. First, your potential partner may not have time to read your message before the appointed time, and you’ll think that she’s not interested in seeing you again. Second, it’s much easier for her to say no in a message than by a phone call.

Make up a plan for a second date

So, when to ask for a second date? You can do this right after the first one ends if you want. For example, when you’re about to say goodbye, tell that you’d like to meet again (and name the time and place). But it’s also not the best approach, and it’s better to wait for a day or two. But if you’re impatient, then you should keep in mind a potential spot for a next date in case your companion asks where you’re going to take her.

If she says she can’t go on a date with you

What if you ask her out and hear “no” in return. In this case, you shouldn’t start worrying and thinking that it’s the end. Ask why she doesn’t want to go on another date with you, but do it politely. If this is not a direct answer (she may say that she’s not interested in you), but a simple one (she’s busy and doesn’t have time), then pick another date. If this didn’t work as well, then try to ask her out a bit later. Maybe she's just in a bad mood or needs more time to decide. Give her a day or two to think everything over and don’t bother her with calls. Try again after two days pass.

Second date rules

Alright, now you know how to ask for a second date. It’s time to learn a couple of basic rules.

Don’t be too romantic

Don’t make your second date too romantic. There’s an excellent rule that says: if a girl didn’t drag you into bed after the first date, there’s a small chance of getting anything more than a kiss after the second one. Usually, everything happens on the third date (if you put a lot of effort) or a little later.

Speak less

So, the first date went great, and now you finally believe in the kinship of souls and are ready to spend hours talking about yourself. Please, don’t do that. Sometimes, it’s better to listen instead of asking. After all, you don’t want to look like a selfish person, right? Besides, whether you’re talking about your past or your ex-girlfriend, excessive frankness may scare your partner off. There are dozens of other things to talk about on a second date. Tell her about your last vacation, hobbies, and favorite movies, but don’t turn your conversation into a monologue.

Don’t be late and don’t rush things

You risk disappointing your companion if instead of “Hi” you’ll say “I only got an hour,” “I need to be at my office by 5 to sign a contract,” and so on. Quick dates during the lunch break are bad dates.

Don’t invite her to your place

On the second date, it’s better not to invite her to her home or introduce her to your parents or friends. Instead, meet in a neutral territory where you both will feel comfortable.

Forget about your smartphone

Sure, you already know each other better than on the first date, but this doesn’t mean that you can afford to be distracted by your phone. Here's one of the most important second date tips: turn it off for a few hours and focus all your attention on your companion. After all, this evening is important for you, and you respect both yourself and the person you asked out.

Fun second date ideas

Let's say you already had your first date. You had a lot of fun together, and now you want something more unusual than a banal evening at a restaurant. Here are a couple of great second date ideas for you.

Cat or dog show

That’s a great opportunity to show that you love animals. Cats can make even a funeral look better, so you can be sure that your date will go smoothly. Besides, we bet no one ever asked her out to a cat show. There will be a lot of bright emotions. Hanging out with cute pets is a great idea for a second date. Both of you will have fun, and you’ll find out your companion’s attitude towards animals.

what to do on a second dateA concert

It’s an awesome idea if you don’t know what to do on a second date because you’ll be jumping and singing all the time. But before asking the girl out, you need to find out her tastes. You probably already discussed what music you like on your first date. Buy two tickets for a show she’ll definitely like. The energy that reigns in concert halls is incredible. You and your companion will get a ton of new emotions, not to mention good memories. But more than that, it’s just great to watch your new girlfriend singing along with her favorite band.

A trip to the zoo

A day at the zoo will give you the opportunity return to sweet childhood. And again, this will bring tons of emotions. And emotions are important. What could be better than feeding cute, little raccoons? Just don’t forget to buy some food for them. Most likely, it’s been years since her last visit to the zoo, so you’ll make a good impression for sure. She won’t forget this day.


There’s no place for magic in our daily lives. When was the last time you’ve been to a circus? Become her personal wizard and make your second date wonderful. This will surely leave an impression. Get a couple of goofy clown masks, some sweets, and have a few laughs. You’ll enjoy this evening, as well.


The atmosphere in such places makes you want to do something crazy. But you can also just relax, dance, and have fun. That’s a nice option, especially if you have quite a boring life. Don’t drink too much and behave yourself. Have a great time and try not to lose your companion in the crowd.

Second date conversation: tips and advice

On a second date, both partners already know something about each other. Now is the time to find out whether you similar views on life. A frank conversation will help you avoid conflicts in the future.

What questions to ask on a second date? There are a lot of them. Ask what you really want to know. If you have some bad experience of an unsuccessful relationship, try to ask the girl how she would behave if she was in your shoes. The main thing about your chat is not to make it look like an interrogation. Develop your conversation, move from life stories to movies. Often, men make a serious mistake – they allow a woman to talk endlessly. If that’s exactly what happened during your first date, there’s a chance that she’ll keep talking only about herself.

Apart from that, a second date is a great opportunity to open up to your companion. Tell her a couple of stories from your childhood. Learn more about her. If you’re looking for a serious relationship, it would be nice to learn about her values in life and find out what she wants to achieve. Well, if she’s not interested in anything, then you should think if you need such a girl because no second date questions will help you keep the dialog going.

Comments (1)
Soon, I’m going out on a second date with a girl I really like. I feel nervous and want everything to go well. I hope your advice will help me!
13.03.2020 15:58
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