How to Get Over Insecurities in a Relationship: Tips for Men

Everybody has insecurities: beautiful and ordinary people, the poor and the rich, celebrities and those who are unknown to the general public. Psychological complexes spoil life, drive people insane or swallow them into the trap of depression. Therefore, it is necessary to get rid of insecurities in relationships in particular. And this is what we are going to talk about in this article.

What Causes Insecurities in Relationships

Knowing why do insecurities in a relationship appear is vital if you are determined to start fighting them. You need to understand the core of the problem. In fact, complexes are equal to fear. Fear and self-doubt. Insecurities are distorted ideas of people about themselves (or any of their qualities). A misconception about shortcomings causes anxiety and frustration, and a person usually hides them from others.

The causes of insecurities ruining relationships may be different. This can be an influence of parents, a series of failures, or a psychological trauma. That means the main reason is usually the emotional precedent of the past. It occurs at the moment of intense emotional pain. The insecurities usually include emotions, sensations that are associated with trauma, focusing on various negative thoughts, and ways of protection from pain.

The initial origin of the psychological problem may lie in a family, it may be caused by the behavior of a loved one, personal experience, negative remarks of friends, or the people around a person. Any random word or glance may cause insecurity. Especially if a person has a sensitive nature and is vulnerable to what is happening around.

The person’s resistance qualities towards stress depend on how they were brought up as a child. It is very important that both a mother and a father raise a person properly and understand their roles. Because these roles are, in fact, different. Every parent should have their own approach but there must be an agreement between both of them.

Projecting Insecurities in Relationships

First of all, to learn how to stop being insecure you need to recognize and find the cause of all the insecurities you have. Then you should get rid of fear and take a sober look at the situation.

All the complexes and fears are most often far-fetched. For example, a big nose or short legs absolutely do not spoil your image as a whole, and moreover, do not affect your best character traits. External flaws can usually be masked, in addition, your loved one doesn’t treat your body parts separately.

Do not constantly fear public opinion. It is not at all scary to make a mistake or to stand out. Take the world and the people around you easier. People are involved in their own lives, and no one will remember that one awkward joke you made for the rest of their life.

It is very important to believe in yourself. This can be adopted by attending various training and reading psychological literature. There is always something that you do better than others. At this point, it is necessary to focus attention on these things as success makes a person more confident. As for the other character traits that you lack, it is worth working on them. Understand that men's insecurities in a relationship only make life more complicated.

You should not think only about the bad. We must live, go on and enjoy life letting go of insecurities in relationships. Find interesting activities to your taste or try to achieve your goal (learn to draw, lose weight). Of course, you will have to get up from the couch and begin to act. But you live only once, so stop thinking about how insecurities affect relationships and start getting rid of them.

If you implement at least some of these tips into your regular life and relationship with a loved one, you will see the results. Insecurities and relationships is a complicated subject, and preventing the problem is the key when it comes to such psychological complexes.

Insecurities in Bed

Each of the researchers of the human psyche interpreted male insecurities in relationships in their own way, for example, Sigmund Freud believed that the complex is not a manifestation of pathology, but an indication of a healthy formation of individuality. Each person, passing through the stages of psychosexual development, deals with certain typical problems and should know how to get over insecurities in a relationship.

The Othello complex. A man having this insecurity is jealous with absolutely no objective reasons. The trauma is based on low self-esteem or uncertainty of a person about their own sexual attractiveness. The sense of possessiveness does not play a leading role. In fact, these people are not afraid that they will be left alone if their partner leaves, but they are more concerned about public opinion.

What to do? The jealousy is amusing and flattering until it doesn’t cross the line. Excessive suspicion and male insecurities in relationships exhaust sexual life. It’s probably easier to leave pathological Othello so if you are a man having this problem, you should pay attention to this.

The Pinocchio complex. It is about the inability to flirt with a girl because of an inferiority complex. Everything seems to be all right, men with such a problem are usually physically attracted and have a good sense of humor. They can communicate with other men normally, but as soon as they like a woman, they immediately start acting fool and lose their nerve. Such men think that all women are avaricious, and since they don’t have a fancy car or are not so affluent, it is not even worth trying.

How to stop being insecure in a relationship? Take the initiative. Your task is to show that not all women are selfish. You will notice that women love your personality, not money as soon as you meet the one and only.

The Casanova complex. Their hobby is neither football and not beer, but the process of seducing women. The more girls get caught by their charm, the bigger gets their ego. In fact, a woman is not an object of worship for them, but a thing or a game. After getting what he wanted, the Casanova soon loses interest in a woman as a person, that is why he cannot build long-term relationships. Behind the compliments and courtship is a complete misunderstanding of the female entity, the neglect of their inner world. Sexologists even see hidden homosexual traits in the Casanova complex.

How to overcome insecurities in relationships for a typical Casanova? Try to force yourself at least a time or two to really understand the inner world of your next victim instead of doing a runner in the morning. Maybe you will get sincerely interested and fall in love for real.

The Tom Thumb complex. The only psychological problem the owners of which are dissatisfied with their body or with the one particular organ, to be more precise. The average penis size in the erected position can reach 13-17 centimeters in length and 3-4.5 centimeters in diameter. But there are still friends who boast of their huge "pals," sex monsters from commercials and films, and even antique statues with their protruding phallus! Not only do these peacocks make other men question their anatomy, but the thing is that the excessive attention to this topic just means they are insecure about it.

How to deal with insecurities in a relationship? The size really doesn’t matter, so stop talking about it and attracting only more attention to the part of your body you are so ashamed of. Partners get pleasure from observing the body of their lover, the techniques used and the atmosphere in general. The big tool without the knowledge of how to use it properly is worth nothing.

The Don Quixote complex. A wandering knight seeks understanding on the chest of a beautiful woman and strives for the comfort of her home. These men perform feats for women. But not for long. This complex is based on illusory desires and the fantasy of idealization of women. Disappointed after their expectations hadn't come true, these men leave their partners and do a gateway.

What to do? Face the reality and grow up. Life is not perfect as well as people in it. As a man, you should be ready to take responsibility for your actions, if you give a word, carry out your promises. And never boast of something you cannot really do.

The Telebubby complex. Such a man watched plenty of porn movies and now, facing the reality where he is not a sex giant and cannot have sex for an hour is frustrating for him. This complex is distributed mainly among teenagers and is based on the inability to distinguish between artificially created stereotypes and reality. You must get rid of this problem in the period of puberty, otherwise, the consequences will prevent you from leading a normal sexual life.

What to do? If your teenage son or you are suffering from this complex, you should read more sexology books and take things easier. We all can look unattractive at times, be tired and not capable of having a night-long sex session or make stupid mistakes. In a bed with a real girl, you have only one attempt to do your best, and you don't know how many takes are needed to film the perfect sex scene.

Books on Insecurities in Relationships

Michael Litwak "Man and Woman." A selection of the best books on the psychology of relationships between men and women would be not full without the work of a well-known psychologist and therapist who studies insecurities in relationships and ways of dealing with them. Yes, men and women are very different, but there are always common grounds. So, there are a lot of problems on the way to a beautiful life with your beloved companion without insecurities, but they can all be easily solved. After reading this book on the relationship between men and women, everyone will finally be able to throw away a lot of complexes and fears.

John Gray "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus." If you are interested in the psychology of relations between a man and a woman, your diving into this topic should start with this book! The psychological postulate emphasizes the differences between representatives of different sexes, stating that it is possible not only to improve the relations with the soulmate but also to get rid of things that prevented you from a happy life. The author states that the man and woman are so different that there is a feeling that they are from different planets. And to find the golden mean in relationships, you need to learn a special language of love. How to do it? This book will help with this.

Liz Burbo "Love, love, love. About different ways of improving relations, accepting others and myself." Analyzing the behavior of married couples, the author shows how they re-think their relationships over time, help each other to fight insecurities and solve problems. And in the end, they become completely new people who are more confident and open to each other, and their relationship grows into the brighter and stronger ones.