How to Get Ready for a First Date After a Breakup
After breakups, people often feel terrible. And not without good reasons. We have given so much to this relationship, and after breakups, we feel traumatized, deceived, and used. Our self-esteem is hurt, and we begin to panic. We all tend to engage in self-discipline, self-digging, self-flagellation, endlessly losing, replaying past situations, and looking for reasons, etc. Stop thinking like that since those thoughts can easily cause depression. Of course, breaking up is hard, but your positive attitude to this terrible moment of your life will help a great deal. Remember, your emotional state directly affects your physical heaths. Thus, depression literary kills you.
This happens because you were used to having many ties with your previous partner. You believed that he or she would be with you forever, but your breakup has changed everything. Now, you have the freedom you never wanted, and you don't know what to do with it. All your plans in one way or another were connected with your ex-partner, and now everything is over. Of course, it is very hard to get out of this emotional condition. Often, people make huge mistakes during this period. To come back to dating after a breakup, you need to have a cool head.
When Is It Too Soon to Start Dating After a Breakup?
Even in the state of terrible depression, we start thinking about getting back into dating after a breakup. This happens because the instinct of self-preservation tells us that it is not possible to live in such a state for a long time. We unconsciously strive to change something in our life. Besides, often, our friends keep telling that we need to find someone else to date. We urgently want to find new love, because we hope that new romantic relationships will make us happy. But before coming back to dating again after a breakup, you must make sure that you are ready to be with someone.
How soon is too soon to start dating after a breakup? There is no exact number of days, weeks, or months. You should start dating someone new after a breakup only when you feel that your ex-relationship is completely in the past. Only in this case, you will be truly happy. If you start searching for a single girl online or offline, the chances are very high that you will face problems in your new romantic relationship. You will be projecting your ex-relationship on your current one, and this will have terrible consequences. Another problem is that when you are searching for a romantic partner while suffering from a breakup, you won't be able to find the right person.
If you started asking yourself when to start dating after a breakup, it means that you are on the way away from your emotional crisis. But, as we have said before, don't rush into dating after a bad breakup because it will only give you more problems. So, is there any approximate numbers how long after a breakup should you start dating again? Certain signs will help you understand that you are ready to come back to dating again. Keep reading this article to learn more about them.
How to Understand You Are Ready for Dating Again After f Breakup?
Okay, you went into a bar with your friends, you were hanging out for a couple of hours, but now, you see that there is a beautiful girl not far from you, and it seems that she is interested in you. What should you do? Is it bad to start dating after a breakup? Of course, it is not bad, sooner or later, you will have to start dating someone. But how to understand when? Certain signs will help you know for sure whether you are ready to date someone new or not.
You start thinking about yourself
A great sign that you are ready to have a new relationship is that you started thinking about yourself. You see, people after a hard breakup usually go so deep in depression, so they completely forget about themselves. They may even start forgetting to brush their teeth. If you start thinking about yourself and your future, then you are ready to build it with someone new.
You stopped dreaming about getting your ex back
Dreaming about getting your ex back is a very significant factor that drags you down. Even if, somehow, you will manage to get her back, there is no guarantee that you won't face the same unresolved problems that not long ago led to the breakup. Instead of dreaming about recreating your old relationships, you should be open to something new.
You've analyzed your mistakes
As we have said before, you had some certain problems that led to your breakup, and if you haven't analyzed your mistakes, you may face those problems again in your new relationships. Analyze your and your ex-partner's behavior, and make sure that you won't repeat the same mistakes with your new partner.
You start being interested in other women
If you started being interested in other women and started searching for some tips for dating after a breakup, it means that you have dealt with your depression. When people are sad and depressed, new relationships and other women are among the last things that they may want to have.
Tips on Preparing for a Date After a Breakup
Finally, you have found your personal answer to the question of how long to wait after a breakup to start dating, and now you are thinking about ways how to make your next first date perfect. There are some dating after breakup rules that you must know to make dating after the breakup easy and pleasant.
Accept the fact she is not your ex
The biggest mistake that people make when they try to date someone again is that they treat their new partners the way how they treated their ex-ones. Remember, she is a completely different person, with different ideas, beliefs, desires, and wishes. If you can't accept this, then you shouldn't date other girls yet. Yes, during your ex-relationship, you got used to a particular person, and you already have certain habits and patterns of behavior. But do you remember where it all got you? A new relationship means new patterns of behavior and habits. Thus, you will ensure that you won't face the same problems again.
Don't tell about your past relationships immediately
Another huge mistake that can tell that you are not ready to dating someone else yet is talking about your ex-relationship with them. You see, when a girl comes on a date with you, she wants to learn something about you and see whether she wants to date you or not. But by telling her about your ex-relationship, you will only show her that you haven't managed to maintain your previous relationship. Remember, when you go on a date with someone, you should never tell anything about your past relationships. And, especially, you should never complain about your ex-girlfriend.
Forget about provoking a pity on a first date
If you are planning to try to provoke pity on your first date with a new girl, then you are doomed to failure. As you may have heard, girls tend to pay more attention to guys for whom they feel pity. But this is not the type of attention you are searching for unless you want her to be a mommy for you, then yes, you definitely should call for her maternal instinct by being petty and pathetic. However, if you want her to see you as a romantic partner, then you should never mention your previous relationships when you are with her. Even if she asks you, your answer should be short and simple, without any details.
Try to be yourself
After hard breakups, people tend to believe that this happened because of them. They convince themselves that they are the root of the evil that took place in their lives. Partly, this is right, and you need to analyze your possible flaws, but you should never go too far with it. Often, because of that, people begin to pretend to be someone else. Of course, this is a terrible mistake that leads to failures in establishing romantic relationships. This is why the main dating after a breakup advice is to be yourself, with some improvements, of course, but remember who you are, and don't try to be someone else.
Focus on positivity
When you are suffering from depression and don't know how to end this nightmare of feeling lonely and abandoned, it is very hard to find at least something positive. But you have to. A positive attitude not only will help deal with your depression faster but also will help a great deal during your dates with new people. You see, even when positive people make mistakes, others usually tend not to pay any attention to them. Those people can easily establish contact almost with anyone because it is in human nature to like active and positive people. Just be careful with jokes and humor.
Trust your potential partner
Another important matter that we should mention here is that you must trust your new partner. We are not talking about sending money to strangers you met online, but we are saying that you should never project your distrust from your ex-relationship to the new ones. Remember, your ex-partner and a new one are two completely different people. If your ex-partner in one way or another betrayed you, it doesn't mean that your next romantic partner will do the same. Sure thing, you need to be careful with people when you just met them, but don't turn into an obsessive with distrust paranoid.
Main Tips for Dating After a Breakup
Now, when you know the answer to the question, "When should you start dating after a breakup?" the time has come for some dating advice. We know how hard coming back to dating can be, and this is why we want to share a couple of rules, ideas, and recommendations on how to make dating after a breakup easy. We hope that via the help of our tips, you will manage to enjoy your dates with new people, and finally will find a perfect partner who will make you happy.
1. Don’t stay at home
After your breakup, you are a free person. There is no reason for you to stay at home all day unless you want to live alone for the rest of your life. If your friends are asking you to go and have fun with them, you definitely should go. Who knows where and when you may meet a perfect girl to date.
2. Change your look
During long-lasting relationships, people often tend to pay less attention to their looks, since they already attracted a significant other, and they don't need to attract anyone else. As you have guessed, this is not your case. You are a free person now, and the best thing you can do is to make sure that you look perfect.
3. Pay attention to the world of online dating
Online dating provides us with incredible capabilities. Have you ever wanted to date a girl from another city, or maybe from another country? The world of online dating will help you with this. Plus, online dating allows you to search among hundreds of possible options for a perfect partner and takes way less time than a conventional one.
4. Be open to new
Your breakup has disrupted your life and destroyed your routine. Thus, now, you have only two options. The first option is to grief on what you have lost. And the second option is to be open to new things that will help you make your life even better than it ever was.
5. Forget about self-criticism
Yes, exactly after the breakup, you need to pay some time to reflection and adequate self-criticism, but not too much time, and not when you are coming back to dating. You see, self-criticism serves to improve your personality, but it also damages your self-esteem. Thus, when you are coming back to dating, your time of self-criticism is over, since you need to have high self-esteem to impress women.
Don't hit yourself too hard if, after a hard breakup, you need more time to re-adjust than others. People are different, and we differently approach our problems and failures. Take as much time as you need to sort yourself and your life out. During this process, you may feel sad but never depressed. If you see that depression swallows you, then you need to take action and do it quickly. Remember, this is in human nature to date and to break up, to be happy from love, and to suffer from it. In your life, there is a place both for happiness and for suffering, and if you think that nothing will be good again, then you are terribly wrong about it.
Generally, the faster you will come back to dating, the better. However, before doing this, you need to be sure that your ex-relationship won't affect your new ones. To achieve this, you should understand that the past is past, and you are living in the present for the future. Often people are feeling great being single, and they don't even think about having romantic relationships. So, you can use this opportunity to live for yourself just a little bit. As soon as you get tired of living with yourself alone, you are ready to let someone new enter your life.
