Letting Go of Emotional Baggage: Tips & Advice

Life is a journey, during which our baggage is constantly replenished with something new: experience, acquaintances and connections, impressions, emotions. When they are positive, it is not difficult to bear, but when they cause pain, experiences, negative memories are accumulated, it becomes difficult even to move forward. Carrying emotional baggage turns into a struggle.

men with emotional baggage

What is Emotional Baggage

Emotional baggage means unresolved problems of an emotional nature, all disappointments, mistakes and psychological traumas of the past, which are a heavy burden. Everyone is attached to his/her past in one way or another. And sometimes, when it reaches, it is necessary to get rid of it. Whether you yourself are a man with emotional baggage, or you are dating women with emotional baggage, it doesn’t matter. It is very important for the purposes of every psyche to know, how to get rid of emotional baggage.

Women and men with emotional baggage should be aware of such a concept and that it can (and should) be dealt with. Emotional baggage consists of many components. Below you will find a list of what would be useful to let go of. All of it presses on you, especially in difficult situations, and does not let you live peacefully. Here are some emotional baggage examples:

  • Regrets about the past
  • Toxic relationships
  • Painful attitude towards criticism
  • Mistakes that torture you
  • Any doubts about the future and your abilities
  • Everything you cannot control
  • Fears that prevent you from revealing your full potential
  • Attachment to results, not process
  • An ardent desire to gain the approval of others
  • Painful emotions that you cannot let go of
  • Uncertainty, unrealistic expectations and negative thoughts
  • The role of the victim

Now let's see what types of emotional baggage and techniques of overcoming them exist.

Types of Emotional Baggage

Letting go of emotional baggage is a lot easier by getting something in return. It's like with habits: want to eradicate a bad habit, start imposing a useful one.

carrying emotional baggageWant to get rid of the feeling of disappointment? Then:

  • Learn a new skill instead of trying to build on skills that you could not master.
  • Change the perspective.
  • Direct your disappointment to a new route: send a resume to find a new job or become a volunteer.
  • Meditate and practice yoga instead of living in the past and worrying about the future.
  • Make a list of your achievements and replenish them every day instead of focusing solely on failures.
  • Play sports to reduce stress and allow your body to produce endorphins.
  • Focus on what you can control, not vice versa.
  • Express your emotions and feelings through creativity, and not with the help of screaming and nervous breakdown.

Want to get rid of anger and feelings of bitterness? Then:

  • Write about your feelings in a diary, and do not speak out with insults.
  • Take full responsibility, knowing that if you are angry, you are to blame for that.
  • Try to understand another point of view and, perhaps, you will understand that there is no reason for anger.
  • Metaphorically discard this emotion: imagine it is paper that can be ripped apart and thrown into the trash can.
  • Remind yourself that you always have three choices: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it. These actions create happiness.

Want to get rid of stress? Then:

  • Learn how to breathe properly. There are many excellent practices on the Internet.
  • Immerse yourself in group activities: helping or working with other people, you can forget about your own small problems.
  • Pay attention to Eckhart Tolle's quote: "Anxiety pretends to be necessary, but serves no useful purpose." Always remember that stress is useless and harmful - you cannot allow it.
  • Replace your thoughts. Notice when you begin to succumb to negative thoughts and then start thinking about something nice and enjoyable.
  • Imagine your life in ten years. Then in twenty, and then in thirty. Realize, many problems are not worth it.
  • Use two lists: one with the reasons for your stress, and the second one with actions to eliminate it. Visualize this process.

Letting Go of Emotional Baggage

If you want to get a step-by-step strategy of dealing with emotional baggage, then this is it. Are you dating someone with emotional baggage? Maybe your partner is carrying emotional baggage from past relationships. Be sure to study this article to better understand that person and to deal with it properly. This is a complex and long process, like everything connected with the past. You will need to gradually focus on developing some habits.

Phase one: recognize the moments of attachment

The first phase of getting rid of emotional baggage is the awareness of the problem. It's about recognizing that there are situations when you begin to be emotionally attached to something. In these moments, you may feel somewhat uncomfortable or vague. It's time to free yourself.

For example, someone criticized you, and you took it to heart. Or deeply regret that they did not do something. Maybe they made a fatal mistake and now they feel guilty. Whatever it is, you need to let go of all this emotional baggage.

In order to get rid of it, ask yourself these questions:

  • What emotional baggage makes me feel unhappy?
  • How else does it make me feel?
  • What are the short-term and long-term consequences of this?
  • Why is it important for me to release this baggage?
  • What benefits will I get when I release it?
  • Where do I start?

These questions are the starting point. However, it is important that you do not stop there. It is necessary to work out three more phases.

Phase two: write down your thoughts

The second stage of this process requires that you take the time to write your thoughts on paper. This should be a daily exercise.

Take a notebook and write down your current thoughts and experiences. Describe also the problems encountered, that you cannot overcome because of emotional baggage. Dig deep and list absolutely everything that made you feel unhappy this day. Then take a deep breath and consciously decide to let it all go.

You can create the following ritual: tear out the page and burn it. This will be a powerful metaphor for self-liberation. Then just move on. Leave the past in the past.

emotional baggage examplesPhase three: practice becoming a witness

The third stage requires little practice. Become a witness of your experience. Look at your problems from the perspective of a third party. This witness does not judge or criticize. He just watches, both outside and inside. He notices what happens to the outside world, and also draws attention to feelings, emotions and thoughts. Develop awareness and attention. Find out how to make decisions, what your reactions and behavior are. And again, do all of it without condemnation. It works because you are like an outsider. It's easier for us to think about our personality when emotions are not at play.

Phase Four: focus on moving forward

The final phase is to train yourself to focus on moving forward. Our thoughts now and then focus on the past, present and future. We want to move forward, but our regrets, mistakes, failures and similar baggage bring us back to the past. Life in the past keeps us in check and prevents us from moving forward. We seem to be its hostages.

One of the best ways to separate yourself from the past is to allocate time for visualization. Leave it for about 20 minutes a day. Imagine yourself in the future as a person who let go of emotional baggage and lives without doubts and regrets. Pay attention to how great it is and how happy you are. Your ideal solution is to focus on the present. And one of the best ways to do this is to be thankful. Take time to reflect on what you are thankful for your destiny. This is what helps to shift the focus of attention from the past to the present. From here you can start moving forward.

Let go of anger

Our inner anger, the past and other people prevent us from moving forward. These toxic experiences cause huge damage to health, make us unhappy and do not allow us to build relationships with others. What to do? Be free from anger. Here are some steps that will help to do this.

Step one: convey your feelings through a letter

A letter is a physical and mental act at the same time, which helps with the identification and transmission of negative emotions. Write down your emotions without conviction, just pour out on paper everything that has accumulated inside you.

Step two: Share your story

The second way to carefully study and express your anger and other feelings caused by frustration is to share them with another person. When you hear that he has also experienced this, you can go from self-condemnation to self-acceptance.

Step Three: Find a New Truth

When we get trauma, we tell ourselves negative stories about how unfair the world and people living in it are. This places fear in our soul. The essence of this step is to find a new truth for yourself. Think about an old story you tell yourself from childhood or youth. Change it, add a lot of positive moments - it will become a liberating experience.

Step Four: Hold the ceremony of liberation

A great way to let go of the trauma of the soul, as well as the anger that has been accumulating for a long time, will be a real physical release. Let this kind of esotericism not stop you: many people use this technique. What will be your release ceremony? For example, you can get rid of the old life by stopping to talk with people who bring evil and humiliate you. If we talk about modern methods, then you can retire from all social networks. It sounds, perhaps, funny and profound, but we are so stuck in a virtual life that we often do not have enough time to live a real life.

Additional tips

Each case is different, so try the following tips and see what works for you. Use a reminder that you began to live a new life. This reminder can be a coin, stone, ring or any other object. Determine what to choose for your sign. Whenever you look at it or touch it, it will remind you that you need to take a deep breath and throw off the baggage that you carry on your shoulders.

Talk to family and friends. Talk to them about your experiences, struggles and problems. Ask them for advice. Listen carefully to what they say. Perhaps, something will strike a chord, something will sink in the soul and help you free yourself. You may also want to ask the following questions:

  • How did you manage to let go of your emotional baggage?
  • What worked for you that could help me?
  • What advice can you give me in this situation?

Keep in mind that other people may not have the answers that you are looking for. Nevertheless, they may well give information that may help you let go of emotional baggage.

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