Should You Have Sex with Your Ex-Girlfriend?

Sex with the ex is a rather strange idea. After all, your relationship is over, and you have already put a decisive end to it, haven't you? It would seem that they want to step in the same river twice and get back to the good old days. Nevertheless, many people have sex dreams about their exes.

Should you have sex with your ex: important things to consider

If a thought “I want to have sex with my ex” came to your mind, it means that you are still drawn to the ex. You may think that ex-sex is the best sex. In this case, you need to remember that it won’t be sex with a loved one. It will be just sex without commitment, affection, and love. Before you jump off the deep end, consider whether this momentary temptation is worth the possible consequences. After all, any parting is a soul wound. It's one thing if you yourself rub salt in this wound, and a completely another story if the partner holds the salt cellar. What do you need to ask yourself before finding yourself in the same bed with her?

Who was the initiator of the breakup?

If the relationship ended at her initiative, and you still feel anxious, having sex with your ex definitely won’t help you live through the drama and move on. Inability to emotionally abstract will lead even to greater suffering.

Why did you break up?

If the problems were so serious that they led to the breakup of your relationships, do you really want to make love with this person? The person you now want is the same with whom you decided not to spend a single day together. Harbor no illusions that firstly you share the bed and then love.

Is she dating anyone else?

Perhaps she is already in a new relationship or managed to make a couple of meetings for one night? You think sex with ex-girlfriend will be safe because you know this girl, but are you sure you know everything? Don’t forget about contraception.

Do you want to forget her?

If your answer is yes, then it’s better not to think about sex. The more you communicate and the more intimate this communication is, the more space a girl takes in your life and the harder it will be for you to start a new life alone or date someone else.

How much do you respect yourself?

A person with whom you don’t want to spend the rest of your life, or who doesn’t want to be with you anymore, is hardly worthy of being your sex partner without obligations. And you deserve more than to satisfy her physical needs.

What do you expect?

If after a breakup you have completed dozens sex training and mastered mind-blowing techniques, this won’t return her love for you. The greatest thing that can happen is that she wants to sleep with you until she loves someone else. Before having sex with your ex, think about what awaits you in the morning. Wouldn't it hurt you too much? Will you endure another disappointment in this woman and in yourself: in your weakness, in that you succumbed again.

Of course, there are situations in which sex would be a great idea. There are a lot of happy sex with ex stories. For example, if you parted peacefully by mutual consent. Why not? Or if after the breakup, both of you realized that you cannot live without each other, discussed all the problems and decided to try again. The main thing is to be honest and understand that your expectations and goals are the same. Otherwise, one of you will suffer.

Perhaps this is your chance and you will be able to turn back the clock. The relationship between two people can develop differently. In this case, it’s better to try than to torment yourself with the thought that you have missed your chance. There are many happy family stories in which the spouse left the family to try the taste of freedom, and then came back and admitted that there is no one better than his wife. And such families live happily ever after, like in fairy tales. So happy endings are possible, the main thing is to understand whether this is your case or it’s better to start from a blank slate with another woman.

Sometimes people change. It doesn’t happen as often as one would like, but still, it happens. It’s not for nothing that today the topic of self-development is so popular. Thanks to it, couples who have broken up can get together again. A man can recognize and correct his mistakes. For example, he used to pay little attention to his family, come home late, friends were more interesting to him than the family. But one day, realizing what he has lost, a man can sort out his priorities again. In this case, family life will be for him on the first place, not the 10th, as before.

A girl can admit that she was too demanding, but she herself wasn’t investing much in the relationship. Also, she can understand that it’s her egoism that eventually led to separation. And then she begins to learn to feel the man and give him exactly what he needs. That's how relationships are restored.

Despite all the delights of a short-term return to the ex-girlfriend, there are situations when you absolutely shouldn’t do this:

• This woman has a boyfriend or husband. It's up to you, of course, but trying to pick up something that no longer belongs to you is a cunning, merciless, and bad idea! In the end, someday you will have a beloved. Remember it and stop dreaming of having sex with your ex!
• Your break up was extremely painful for you. And so, sex with a girl who caused you pain is a bad idea. It’s better not to let this woman approach you at all.
• This girl has an alcohol or drug addiction. In this case, you cannot be absolutely sure that she doesn’t have unpleasant venereal diseases.
• You want to take revenge on her. Maybe you have become more successful, smarter, and more attractive? And so you want to show her what she has lost. Therefore, if she still hasn’t realized the disastrous consequences of your breakup, it’s unlikely she will come to this thought. Sex with ex-girlfriend isn’t revenge.

Ex wants to have sex: why does it happen?

1. A desire to regain trust

After a series of squabbles, unflattering opinions, and unpleasant discoveries, your trust has collapsed. It’s especially hard if the reason for break up was infidelity. If you get the feeling that it’s impossible to forgive her, you shouldn’t try to build relationships. Perhaps later, when the pain ceases to be so strong, you will look at your partner’s actions differently and be able to understand her. Then you can return to this point.

This is another matter, if the feelings have cooled down, you have told each other many offensive things, but in principle, you still remember what qualities of this person attracted you once. In this case, sex will help improve relationships, feel and accept each other, and break up in a civilized way.

It’s dangerous to think that having sex with your ex you will return the old relationship. This illusion can frighten the initiator of the breakup and cause extra pain to the other side. Even friendship immediately after breaking up is a bad idea. On average, a person needs half the time they spent in a relationship with someone in order to learn to value this person "anew." That's when you can be friends and have sex with your ex.

2. A desire to put a beautiful end

This is a typical female desire. If separation was sudden, the fair sex often wants to feel the intimacy that was between them again. 40% of surveyed women said that they want to touch the ex-partner, get the usual feelings, knowing that it’s for the last time. Such “action” creates a feeling of completeness, so it’s much easier to throw away thoughts about the past and move on to new relationships. Last sex should be a one-time event. Otherwise, it turns into a love affair.

3. She wants to prove that you didn’t appreciate her

Yes, yes! To appease offense after parting isn’t easy. Even if you were the initiator of the breakup, every girl deep down hopes that her man will never again have a woman like her. Low self-esteem often prompts girls to have sex with an ex to show him what he has lost.

4. Relax if you have nothing to lose

The one who first left the partner doesn’t perceive the end of the relationship as a tragedy. It’s unpleasant and scary to break the usual way of things, but indifference and emptiness are usually mixed with these feelings. If intimacy at the level of emotions and thoughts has disappeared, you can enjoy physical pleasure. When people have nothing to lose, they don’t try to please each other, their intention is just to relax. Moreover, you have long learned how to give each other pleasure. The habitual intimacy helps not to worry about future changes. Sex, like chocolate, helps relieve stress.

In this case, both partners need to treat sex as a purely physical pleasure and make arrangements in advance. If one still loves the ex, and the second enjoys it - this is already a manipulation.

5. She wants to increase sex appeal

If the former couple has no new partners, they can help each other to find them, for having sex without obligations sometimes. After all, people who have regular sex increase their attractiveness in the eyes of potential partners. Unexpected loneliness has a negative effect on sexuality, and if you can solve this problem by getting mutual pleasure – everything is going alright.

How to get your ex to have sex with you

Now, we are going to give you some useful tips on how to ask your ex for sex.

Start from afar

Suddenly you remembered that you had forgotten some very important thing at her house. Maybe this is your favorite sweater or an expensive watch. Yes, you definitely need to take this thing back. Call the ex-girlfriend, make an appointment and come to her at concert pitch - beautifully dressed and good-smelling.

Remind her of the bright moments of your relationship

Of course, you shouldn’t remember the best time of your life with tears in your eyes and trembling voice. It’s better to present such information with a proud look and a touch of benevolence. It’s great if you remember some very funny and intimate incidents. You will laugh at it together. Laughing, as you know, brings together even the most different people. The only you need is to remember...

Awake her physical memory

It’s the best way how to have sex with your ex. The main thing during the conversation is not to show your interest. Talk with the ex-girlfriend as if with a good friend. Don’t use cheap shots of seduction. Inadvertently try to touch her hand or leg. You yourself know how to please her. Use your knowledge so she wants to have sex with you.

Seduction for the purpose of having sex with ex-girlfriend isn’t as difficult as it seems. Women rarely refuse if a man offers to have sex just like in the good old days. But first ask yourself “Should I have sex with my ex?” And won’t sexual intercourse with the person who left you be the most terrible memory that you want to forget? The choice is yours. Good luck!