Dating Korean Women: Everything You Need to Know

Korea is one of the most magnificent countries I’ve ever seen. It is beautiful, and its culture is vivid and extremely unique. People here are very fond of traditions, and you truly feel like a foreigner, but in a good way, as more of an explorer rather than an alien. The same can be said about women and relationships in general. I’ve had my fair share of experience, and I know what it’s like to date Korean girls, so I want to share it with you today.

Let’s start by discussing the Korean dating culture in general.

Korean Dating Culture

In Korea, group dates of 3: 3 or 5: 5 are often held. This method is quite common and is most popular among students in universities (which are around 17-20 years old). Korean universities have student lounges. And these lounges often serve as places which these students choose for arranging their multi-dates.

These students talk and play alcohol games in a bar, but often everything ends after one such date because there is not enough time to get to know a person well. Usually, if someone likes another person, then they ask for a phone number in order to meet together next time.

When it comes to adults, dating is usually 1: 1. Because they are already tired of all kinds of alcohol games and want a more serious date and to have a conversation. But whether you are 17 or 30, the one thing is the same, someone will arrange your date for you.

I want to explain why it is the case. I do not know why the Koreans prefer this way of arranging dates, but from what I’ve heard, ever since early school, they are told, "You need to study well and go to the best university there is. After graduating from a good university, there will be a good job. Life will be all right." In order to achieve this plan, parents and teachers say not to be distracted by other things, for example, meeting or dating with the opposite sex, and that they are still too young to date someone.

Korean parents often tell their children that they should meet their partners at the universities they attend, as to minimize the time that will be wasted. These kids will be able to date and do everything together, but at the same time, it won’t affect their grades and all that. And it is hard to find a child that isn’t obedient of their parents, thus, there is no real other option but to study. Because of all of that, boys hang out with other boys, and girls hang out with other girls, they are not motivated to approach each other.

It goes even beyond simple demotivation, there are gender-specific schools (male and female) that kids can attend. People who graduate from such schools are even shyer when they need to communicate with the opposite sex. And this is the main reason why Koreans have their dates arranged because they are very shy, and they are often unable to approach a person they like, this is just how it goes.

What to Expect When Dating a Korean Girl?

So, what is dating Korean girls like, what to expect and beware of? Based on my few experiences and the experiences of my friends, I will try to fully describe, and if not all, then many of the nuances of relations with a Korean woman. First, the most important thing, in my opinion, is the Korean language. It is necessary to learn the language, or at least be interested in it. Moreover, if a girl sees your desire to know the language and culture of her homeland, it will be easier for you to establish a connection and maybe even find common interests. Many foreigners will extensively study the Korean language with the purpose of starting relations with Korean women. In turn, quite often Korean women, being in relationships with foreigners, have a similar goal – to study English language.

In my opinion, this indicates a mutual desire to get to know each other better. In addition, in the era of the Internet and social networks, it has become very convenient to stay in touch with your partner, and Koreans are quite proficient with technology. Using such messengers as “KakaoTalk” and “Line,” you can always be in touch as well as practice your Korean language with a girl you love. By the way, it is worth pointing out that Korean girls are extremely scrupulous about messages, and literally a minute delay can cost you a scandal or at least a disgruntled face for the rest of the evening.

Korean dating etiquette is quite different from western standards as well. Due to the influence of Confucianism in Korea, basic western gentleman attitude is not very common, such as giving a girl a place in public transport, or opening/holding a door for her. Therefore, foreigners have a huge advantage over the Korean guys, enchanting the Korean women with their gallantry, the most basic things like helping a girl to get out of a car will be greatly appreciated. It is also very common when everyone pays for themselves after dinner because Korean women believe that they can pay for themselves. However, you should not rely entirely on this principle, and if you have already invited a girl for a dinner, or it so happened that you eat together, it would be nice to treat a girl with your gallantry.

So, how to date a Korean woman?

How to Date a Korean Girl?

So, what is it like dating Korean women? They, as their culture, are quite different from western girls. The state of their labor market forces everyone (including women) to invest a huge amount of effort and time into both education and working on their career. Education and work will be her main priorities, this is something that you will have to deal with when dating a Korean girl. And really, Koreans got it hard when it comes to being a teenager, thus, lots of girls at this age (and up to 30) want to experience lots of things, date different guys and, in general, relax in all the possible ways they can find.

Korean girls are demanding and cunning, especially when it comes to getting something from their boyfriends. But this is more about the culture, and if a man cannot afford a thing that his girlfriend wants, then he is considered a loser. But I should also mention that they are quite aware of the peculiarities of their culture, so when it comes to dating a foreign guy – they will be more tolerant in everything they do, as they know that they've come here from different cultures.

Of course, like all the girls in the world, Korean women love gifts. And here, in my opinion, the field of creativity is simply huge. Although it is worth remembering that not all Koreans love big celebrations or ceremonies but the usual small gifts, whether those are flowers, ice cream, or stuffed toys, will be greatly appreciated. To get a Korean woman to like you, you do not need to be a muscular monster, you just need to be attentive and caring.

In turn, a Korean woman will do everything to please a guy, and when your relationship becomes more intimate, then maybe she will even use aegyo, (childlike manner of speaking) or call you oppa (a guy has to decide here, whether he likes it or not). As relationships develop, more and more will be allowed when it comes to touches and kisses, but it is absolutely not worth it to hurry because you can easily scare a girl or create an unattractive image of a guy who just wants sex.

Now, as you know how to date a Korean girl, let’s discuss some other important topics, first off, age difference.

Korean Dating: Age Difference

The difference in age is very important to Koreans. This applies to both relationships and life in general. The difference in age affects everything, starting with a simple dialogue to a serious date. The difference in age, even if it is just one year, should be taken into account, otherwise, you will be considered rude. For example, your classmate is one year older than you. As you can see, Koreans respect their elders, this “gap” will eventually cease to exist after you’ve known each other for a long time. An older person is considered to be smarter, wiser and, in a way, more important. Disrespect to elders is, from what I’ve seen, the worst offender there is.

By the way, this is why foreigners sometimes feel that in Korea all are relatives of each other – this is because quite often they address each other as “big brother” and “elder sister.” Koreans believe that it is rude to call their elders by name even if you are old friends. The inhabitants of the country strictly follow this rule and appreciate when it is followed by foreigners as well.

Korean Marriage

If we are talking about the Korean "middle class," for whom it is now absolutely mandatory to get a higher education, then the usual age of marriage is around 24-26 years for women and 25-28 years for men. If a person has not created a family for several years after the generally accepted period, then this situation is perceived by others as completely abnormal, and even as a reason for a slight panic (“they think to themselves: he is 31 years old and doesn't have a wife, there has to be something wrong with him!"). Relatives, friends, colleagues, and superiors of such “old bachelors” (or “old maids”) start showing growing concern. Usually, this concern is quite specific and is expressed in the active search for a spouse suitable for such a person. As a result, in Korea, it is almost impossible to meet unmarried men over 30-32 or unmarried women over 28-30.

Traditional Korean society didn’t know about such a thing as a love marriage: the issues of marriage were decided by parents alone. It was not forbidden to resort to the help of professional marriage agents. They could be called matchmakers if it were not for the fact that there were very few women among them at that time.

The old tradition of marriage and the old approach to the family for a long time remained almost untouched, and changes have begun relatively recently in this area. In recent years, young people have increasingly begun to take the lead in marriages, however, even today, in most cases, future spouses are introduced to each other by intermediaries, in the role of which can be professional matchmakers (now in Korea this is a female profession) and, more often, friends or parents. Sometimes, it’s not even friends but just some people they see each day. Even when it comes to practice, it is absolutely normal to look for a partner for someone who needs one, especially for those who have already passed the common age of marriage.

Best Korean Dating Sites

If you feel interested in Korean women dating, then I congratulate on the fact that it is quite easy to find a Korean dating site. There are quite a few Korean dating sites out there, but we have compiled our personal favorites.

• koreancupid.com/
• elitesingles.com/korean-dating – this is a great Korean dating site for foreigners.
• metrodate.com/kr/
• mingle2.com/

There is also the Korean dating app called Noondate. Be sure to give it a shot.