Moving in Together with Your Girlfriend: Tips and Guidelines

Moving in together is a big step in the development of relationships, and it requires a lot of time, effort, and energy to carry it out. There are many things that you should know about it so as not to make a mistake in this important decision. Before we are going to discuss a “moving in together checklist,” let’s talk about the differences between moving in together and marriage.

how long should you date before moving in together

Is Moving in Together the Same As Marriage?

The short answer is no, but there are some things to remember, there are some differences and some similar things. What is similar between moving in together and marriage? Well, they both imply your coexistence in the same apartment. You have to separate your responsibilities and stick to completing them to the best of your ability. Now you share something, your daily life outside of work is closely tied to the life of another person.

And here are the differences between marriage and moving in together. Marriage implies a lot more responsibilities, it is a regular relationship that was amplified by 10, all the responsibilities, loyalty, commitment, and such. Marriage is a sacred bond that, in the case of a breakup, means a lot of work and stress, and you cannot just pack your belongings and leave, divorce is a lot of work. Moving in together is like the testing ground for marriage, everything is not as serious or important as it is in marriage. If, after some time, in the case of moving in together before marriage, you feel like you don’t really click, you feel discomfort and loneliness in a relationship, you have to realize that it is incredibly easy to meet a single woman online right now. Everyone is busy with all sorts of things, and online dating is very popular right now, so don’t waste your time on a person that doesn’t bring you any pleasure.

And now, let’s find out how long before moving in together?

How Long Before Moving in Together

moving in together adviceIs moving in together after a year ok? Is moving in together after 3 months ok? How long should you date before moving in together? Well, most importantly, it all depends on your relationships and how well you are doing. Some couples will be just fine moving in after just a few months of relationships, others need a bit more time, some need a few years to develop that level of confidence in each other.

But there still should be some rationality about such an important decision, right? Sure, but mostly in the case of irrational relationships that move way too fast, but they, as a rule, are doomed to failure one way or another. Just think about it, all of the euphorias of passion swallows the young and naïve couple, they end up moving in together too soon, and then they realize that they are not all that compatible with each other after all. They find out all of the differences that eventually, will break their relationship apart.

Now let’s look at some questions to ask before moving in together.

Important Questions to Ask Before Moving in Together

Before we move on to tips for moving in together, here are some important questions that you two should ask each other before moving in together and taking this big leap in your relationship.

Can you both afford it?

If you are a couple moving in together – expect some expenses, especially in the case when you both live with your parents, and you want to rent an apartment to live together. Can you really afford a life without the help of your parents and relatives?

Are you ready to fight a routine?

Once again, life without your parents, relatives, brothers, and sisters can be quite different, now that you are apart and all the responsibilities are going to shift. You will also have a common routine with your partner, before this big step, you lived apart from each other, and this is the form of communication that you got used to, everything can be quite different once you start living with a person and seeing them all the time.

Do you both want it?

If one of you is against the idea of moving in or agrees to it just because of politeness or any other reason – nothing good will come out of it. Well, at the very least, the likelihood of a good outcome is lower. This is a big step that needs commitment and desire from both partners. You should never force yourself into someone else’s home, even if you love each other, maybe they are not ready for such a step, everything should be gradual, you should test out your feelings and find out whether you really want this or not.

Tips for Couples Moving in Together

Hooray, finally! Your soulmate offered you to live together (or you did). Now your outfits, shoes, and cosmetics will find a new home at their place. But don’t rejoice just yet - you will have to discuss many questions so that your idyll does not crash in the sea of life. Maybe you even want to live with that person for the rest of your life, you feel sure of them, but first, you need to find out a few things about joint coexistence. You don’t need any moving in together quiz, you need to know a few important things about moving in together to realize whether you ready for it or not.

1. Important conversations

The first thing you will need to do together is to discuss the pros and cons of living together. There should be no pressure on both sides, only clear reasoning. You can write all of the pros and cons on a piece of paper. If you don’t want to put additional pressure on a person, then don’t say, “I want you to spend more time with me,” instead, say something on the lines of “We should spend more time with each other.” Do not try to be too intrusive and do not rush headlong to pack your bags, having heard the offer to move in together.

2. Creating comfort

The moving in together advice has to do with comfort. If the proposal for cohabitation has not yet been received, but you really want to move to the partner’s place, prepare the ground in advance. Give them some cute interior detail and watch their reaction. If they actively use the presented thing or put it in a prominent place, then they are ready to let you into their den. It is also worth periodically arranging romantic evenings at their place, eating and watching films together to arouse their interest in family comfort. Do not forget to help them with their everyday life, restore order in the apartment, do your part. While staying over, do some cleaning, do something as if you already live together, take out the garbage, make them a cup of coffee, etc.

couple moving in together3. Distribution of household duties

Do you know how your partner will behave in everyday life? Will the bulk of household chores fall on your shoulders? Often, conflicts in couples and families are associated with the distribution of household responsibilities. Discuss these points in advance, otherwise, you will not get along together (unless, of course, a behavior model has been imposed on your girlfriend since childhood, where a woman must do everything around the house herself, and she agrees with this). It will be hard to try to adapt to new rules and ways of living your life, so, instead, try to combine your habits in a way so as not cause any discomfort or minimize it as much as possible.

4. Financial aspect

Living together does not necessarily mean a merger of budgets. Everyone has the right to decide how to spend money, but now you have common obligations in the form of rents, products, and other household trifles. Create a fund for total expenses and create a monthly or weekly budget. It is not necessary to divide all the expenses in half. There is nothing wrong if your partner earns more and can afford to pay the rent. However, this does not cancel joint planning. Although formally you are not yet a family, you will have to face the main financial problems in the relationship.

5. Test drive

Before you finally get together, try to live together for a while. You can, for example, go on vacation together, this is a great way to test out your coexistence. This method will help you understand whether you want to live together or not, study each other’s habits and show your ability to save money. Maybe you won’t along together in such a short period, and everything about each other will be very annoying.

6. Personal space

Here’s the last point on the list of tips for couples moving in together. Each person needs personal space, interests, and hobbies. Do not try to spend every minute with your partner and distract from their usual activities. Maybe after work, they are used to going to the gym or playing football - there’s no need to prohibit them from doing this. In the meantime, you should be able to hang out with your friends and do the things that you like. Most couples break up due to unwillingness to recognize each other's interests and personal space.

Remodeling your partner and trying to change yourself will not lead to anything good - relationships become boring, and people become impersonal. Respect each other's interests and the desire to be alone, even if you live together. If one of you is not ready for a life together, this does not mean that you should break up with each other. Maybe a little more time is needed. The main advice for those who are considering to move in with their partner - do not rush it.

Comments (1)
Thanks for the helpful tips on what issues should be discussed with a loved one before moving in together. I will definitely discuss them with my beloved man!
13.03.2020 16:41
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