We are constantly being afraid of being alone. That's why men spend so much time on dating sites, trying to find single ladies online, just as women are trying to find single men. And that makes no surprise that we generally hear complaints about partners not spending enough time together in a relationship. Spending time together always comes as a sure sign of true love and commitment. But is it really so?
There is a typical pattern of relationship development that we tend to believe. Couples are spending too much time together in the beginning. Then, after the honeymoon phase in a relationship is over, partners tend to get back to their typical life, and start seeing each other less. Sometimes we can even hear complaints like, "We spend too much time together." Does that mean that we have lost interest in each other? Does that mean that there is no love? Or maybe spending too much time together can really spoil your relationship.
So, can spending too much time together ruin a relationship? And if so, how? Yes, spending too much time together can not only ruin your relationship but also have an impact on your post-relationship life. So, let's figure out how. Yes, when we start dating someone, the person tends to become our whole world. And that's okay, but then you slowly start neglecting your friends to spend more time with your partner. As a result, some or all of your friends may slowly disappear from your life. Aside from that, you get too comfortable and forget to keep the romance alive. You may also run out of the topics to discuss.
You also don't have an opportunity to really miss each other and get bored with each other easily. At the same time, you both become halves of a whole, which makes it difficult to be apart, despite being unable to stand each other. And as a result, if you break up, you don't know how to live your life alone, as you've forgotten who you are without those relationships, and you have no friends that can help you figure it out.
Okay, we might have scared you with that gloomy perspective of spending too much time together. Most likely, you are searching for the signs of spending time together in excessive amounts. Yeah, nobody wants to ruin their relationship with something that seems absolutely natural at the moment. But don't look any further, as we got you covered. We offer you to check out signs that will help you determine whether you are spending too much time together in a relationship or not.
Your friends complain that you're dumping them
Let's start from the outside signs that you are spending excessive amounts of time with your partner. Your friends start complaining that you are forgetting about them because you are spending too much time with your partner. However, this sign isn't trustworthy, as there is no guarantee that your friends aren't toxic people who think that you have no right to spend your time with someone else except them.
You don't get invites to the parties
You have just learned that one of your friends moved to a different apartment and made a housewarming partner without inviting you? Do you learn from the social network that your friends went to another country for a festival without letting you know? Well, it hurts, but you should wonder why you weren't invited in the first place. That's a worrying sign, as it signifies that you were ditching invites for quite a long time as you were spending time with your partner.
You haven't heard from your friends for a long time
Well, that's an alarming outside sign. If you suddenly realize that you haven't heard from your friends for a long time, it means that you were ditching them all the time that you were spending with your partner. And your friends simply gave up on trying to reach out to you.
You're lagging behind
The last outside sign, and the one you start noticing the last – you're lagging behind at your work, at your housekeeping, and in life in general. You've stopped noticing new trends? You've missed out on a lot of things? Your work has gone down spiral? And that all happened because for a while you were unable to concentrate on anything but your partner.
You're bored in your relationship
For a certain period, you couldn't imagine your life without your partner, but suddenly all the excitement is gone. You feel extremely bored with your partner. You know what they are going to say in this or that situation, and you don't have to say anything new either. And you would like to run away, but that's where you encounter the next problem.
You don't know what to do without your partner
Your partner has been on your life in excessive amounts for such a long time that there's nothing left aside from them. And you would like to move on, but you can't forget what your life without your partner looked like. Not literally, but you know how to spend time together with your partner, but you can't remember how to devote your time to anything else.
Your partner irritates you
You start hating your partner, and that hate is illogical. Although it was your choice to spend so much time together, you blame them for missing out on certain things in your life. And you end up being unable to stand your partner at all. Even the way they breathe irritates you.
You irritate your partner
It turns out that you are not the only one being irritated in your relationship. You start noticing that your partner is irritated by you. Well, needless to say, that you are already in an unhealthy state and are heading towards a breakup. So, yeah, spending too much time together can ruin your relationship.
Based on everything mentioned above, you can easily conclude that spending excessive amounts of time with your partner is definitely bad. But is it so? Are there any rules on how much time should couples spend together? No one can tell you that for sure.
There is nothing wrong with spending time together with your partner, when you don't neglect your relatives, friends, work, etc. You can spend as much time as you want together if you don't run out of topics to discuss and don't get bored with each other.
So, in the end, spending too much time together is not bad at all, just you must be able to tell when you are just trying to discover each other and when you are completely devoured by your relationship and forget about your life aside from your partner.
We've been talking only about spending excessive amounts of time together by your desire, but sometimes you are forced to stay together with your partner. Due to the recent virus pandemic, more than 200 countries have been put on quarantine. The outcome in China was a skyrocketing number of divorces. It indicates that certain couples haven't been ready for spending days-weeks-months together. Maybe some of the couples weren't meant to be together, but is there a way to avoid relationships' crack when you are spending too much time together? Let's figure it out.
Don't limit yourself only to your partner
If you are under lockdown due to some pandemic or stuck on some island due to weather with your partner, it doesn't mean that your communication should be limited to your partner. Due to the social network, you can communicate with your friends. If you are just spending too much time together, don't forget your friends and colleagues. You shouldn't limit your social interactions simply because you are in a relationship. That's the best way to avoid breakups due to devoting much of your time to your partner.
Don't forget your schedule
Yes, you may want to give everything away to spend an extra second with your partner, but that doesn't mean that you should forget about your work, your hobbies, your activities other than spending time with your partner. You should have a schedule for everything, even for your partner. It doesn't mean that you should have a strict schedule, as saying to your partner something a-la, "I will find some time in my schedule for you" is also far from being healthy. You may rearrange your schedule to spend more time with your significant other, but don't neglect anyone or anything.
Don't forget to give and get alone time
Both you and your partner deserve to have alone time. Moreover, it's a crucial need. You need to provide each other with alone time even if you live together or under a lockdown. Even when you have a small flat, you can schedule when one is sitting in the bedroom, while another one is occupying the kitchen or bathroom. Even without a lockdown, alone time is important. You may go for a walk separately. That will help you not get irritated with each other.
Keep your romantic dates alive
The mistake that most of the partners make is forgetting to call each other for a romantic date after proclaiming each other a couple. You should dine out from time to time or organize romantic dinners at home as well. You should surprise each other with those romantic dates. Thus, your relationship won't get boring, and you won't get irritated with each other.
Don't turn sex into routine
Another typical mistake that most couples make is turning sex into the routine or something obligatory. Sex is something that should work as a physical manifestation of your love. It is something that should be exciting for both of us. If you turn it to something obligatory, you will end up hating those moments of sex. If your sex is boring, it is also something that can spoil your relationship. Try kinky sex, try slower sex, try different positions. The Internet is full of articles that can provide you with advice on the issue.
As we've already clarified, no one can tell you what amount of time spent together is healthy for a relationship. But you must remember that such things as missing each other or spending time separately from each other are as crucial for your relationship as being together. Just keep in mind that you should take measures when you feel that your social interactions with others or your works go down spiral. And, we've provided you with what can be done about that.