How Does Bickering Appear in a Relationship and What to Do About It?

The bickering. An annoying thing, comparable to dealing with your bitter ex-wife. We all have experienced it after some time being together. Though it's pretty annoying, you cannot stop disagreeing, fussing, or disputing with your most loved one, knowing you're being unreasonable? Well, let's talk it through.

bickering in relationships

How Does Bickering Appear in a Relationship?

First of all, to fix everything, without searching for a place where to meet women after ruined relationships, let's find out why do couples bicker.

You can ask a pretty reasonable question, "Is bickering a sign of attraction? Do we only experience it with our beloved ones? And if it's bad then why does it happen all the time?" But nothing in this life is easy. Sometimes it happens due to trivial selfishness, tiredness, or a bad mood, so we try to use some stupid arguments to change our state of mind. Sometimes a simple routine gets under the skin or some desire of control over the partner overpowers you. But most couples just want to show each other who is right and, the most interesting thing, in extremely pointless situations.

Main Marks of Constant Bickering in a Relationship

constant bickering in a relationshipWell, if you ever thought over your daily life and doubted whether you experienced bickering in your relationships; whether you need a bickering couple advice or everything will "just go away," let us make your life easier. You have bickering in a relationship if you often hear such phrases.

  1. "I know that I'm doing more for her than she does for me." A typical example of constant bickering about who is working harder or who is doing more things for another person. In such moments couples feel lack of gratitude (or one just blindly rejects seeing it) and a need to be appreciated more. That thing usually happens due to a simple and seemingly never-ending routine.
  2. "I still remember that unwashed dish… Well, I'll pretend it doesn't bother me." Fights about something that happened ages ago due to the inability to stop being angry, let off your old accumulated bitterness, and start trust each other again.
  3. "How can she do it so long… I would've finished in a second." Never-ending judgment caused by some contempt and even disrespect. In this case, bickering couples cannot accept all the peculiarities of each other's characters and ways of perceiving life.
  4. "I'm not the only one who thinks you are wrong. My mother thinks this way too…" The endless desire of both partners to be right can hide a need to be in control, insecurity, or a simple perfectionism out of control.
  5. "Well, I'm sorry for me being that annoying to you." Seems like one of you is apologizing, but sounds…fake? Can you see that hidden elephant? You're blaming each other in some strange and offensive way.


Main Differences Between Bickering and Arguing

It's important to mention that constant bickering in relationships and arguing is not the same thing. According to some articles, the difference is in the style of communicating. During arguing you may intentionally want to hurt a person (it can even be fa-a-ar from a fair fight). What does bickering mean? There's never an aim to hurt intentionally (though it may hurt badly). Some couples do bickering meaning to blow off steam, which can be even a good thing sometimes. For example, if you can easily move on and you can have a productive conversation about your problem later.

And, finally, something you've probably been waiting for from the beginning. If your bickering has already become not just a rare-way-to-release-tension thing, it doesn't make your relations necessarily dead: you can still fight for your happiness.

How to Stop Bickering and Argue for Making Relationships Better

how to stop bickeringFirst and the most obvious: if you've been wondering how to stop bickering, try to make a pause at the moment you are noticing yourself being unfair and crabby. Yes, it seems to be impossible. But try. (Don't forget to have a cold and calm discussion with your partner later).

  1. Realize one simple thing: constant fights will go nowhere. Relax! The only thing you will change with your bickering is your mental health and your relationships.
  2. Stop thinking about the other person: improve yourself. Maybe the problems are inside? Try to heal your older wounds, relax emotionally, gain self-love, and self-confidence.
  3. Accept that the main problem is underneath: that broken kitchen sink isn't guilty. You feel fear, tiredness, or lack of conversations.
  4. Try not to speak while you are angry. Have some time to calm down, and the problem will be solved much faster!

And one more thing. Don't be afraid to look for help. Professional, of course. Psychologists have already been invented!

So, are you ready to continue this wild ride called relationships?

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